Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in The Iron Catastrophe's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, November 12th, 2002
8:48 pm	Time to go bye bye It rained today, beautifully, the first rain since I arrived. I was crossing over the Ponte Accademia when the clouds on the horizon suddenly broke and the sun lit up the Grand Canal with the most beautiful golden light. The black rain cloud was still right over the bridge though - it made for a very pretty sight. Everything here fits. Even the ever-present anarchist grafitti works. The only thing that doesn't work is the lines of shifty Nigerians and thier blankets full of counterfeit designer bags. What is this, 3rd Avenue? I think there's more to write about, but I can't think of it right now what with Eminem blasting in my ears, so I'm going to eat pack and hopefully fall asleep to the last of the bells. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 11th, 2002
6:49 pm	They show guy's asses on TV commercials here (and I think I peed on a rat). Izod Lacoste has a commercial here where this hot guy runs through his apartment looking for his underwear and he's Buck Naked in the whole thing! And we're not talking Dennis Franz Insta-butt shot either! I was just sitting at my favorite private spot listening to all the Accademia students practice in some palazzo across the canal, drinking a Lowenbrau, and I really had to pee and I was like "whatever, there hasn't been anybody down this alley for the whole time" so I stood up and let 'er rip and a rat shot out from out of a crack in the steps! I was all spontaneous this afternoon and jumped on a vaporetto thinking it would be a shortcut back to St Marco - um. No. TWO HOURS later, I was on some island in the lagoon and being kicked off the boat! End o' the line! Luckily, another boat came by soon in the other direction and a nice old lady helped me find my way back. Whew for that. I really don't know what's been my favorite part so far. I've been eating ice cream cones, waving at babies and volunteering to help tourists. What's happening to me? It's this place. It's having an affect on me. Today I was walking thru the Cannaregio and this unbelieveably cute Italian teen was approaching and I was all like "Wow, he's unbelieveably cute" and then he just walked up and started conversing in Italian at me! Like we were old pals! I was all "Sorry I only speak English" and he looked very surprised and amused and apoplogized and walked off. Cutely. It was hot. (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 10th, 2002
3:16 pm	Still works. I'm fine. I am in freakin love with this city. It is the zenith and the nadir of human civilization, surrounded by water, drowning in tourist money and pigeon crap. I have taken over 150mb of pics and have done nothing but walk around. It is impossible to take a bad picture here. My hotel has turned out to be wonderful - literally 20 steps from the nuttiness of Piazza San Marco. I am on the fourth floor and my window has a view of the basilica domes and the Campanile tower. On the 12's and 6's all the bells in the piazza (and all of Venice for that matter) go apeshit - it's a wonderful thing to wake to in the morning and listen to when retiring. The Italians are so HOT - and even the hordes of tourists, usually of great annoyance to me anywhere else, are an enjoyable part of it all . It's all just plain fun. But DAMN, my feet hurt. I've been unbelieveably lucky with the weather - blue skies and crisp every day. Today was the most beautiful day ever. I went to the Peggy Guggenheim Collection and sat on the marble terrace on the Grand Canal and just watched it all go by. What history. I could totally picture Jackson Pollack sitting there, smoking a cigarette, kicking her shi-tzus away. (She had dozens - and she's buried with them - they're all listed on her grave stone!) The whole Dorosduro area is my favorite so far. Most common quotes overheard: "I've lost my group!" and "What a view!" (tie) but my all time favorite so far is some British guy saying to his wife: "I've spent a thousand pounds this week already..." Yesterday I was walking around the Accademia area when I crossed over this little bridge and I instantly recognized the exact place where Katharine Hepburn fell into the canal in the movie "Summertime." It's all exactly the same - the bridge, the antique shop, the steps she crawled up soaking wet. It was a moment in time. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 29th, 2002
9:10 am	Who says Nigerian Muslim courts are heartless? "Amina Lawal, who is charged with engaging in sex outside marriage, has been granted a stay of execution, until her child born out of wedlock has finished breastfeeding, at which time she will be stoned to death." How nice of them! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 28th, 2002
1:04 pm	Perhaps I'LL end up on CNN with the description "Last seen wearing Fruit of the Loom brief underwear" next to my picture. Someday. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 27th, 2002
10:19 am	God "worked a miracle" for a guy who was "selling things." 2 bad He forgot about 3000 other people. Man Missing Since Attacks Is Alive NEWARK, N.J. (AP) 8/28 - A man who was believed to be near the World Trade Center on Sept. 11 and was later reported missing has apparently been found at a New York hospital. The family of George V. Sims, 46, said they learned of his whereabouts earlier this month when the hospital called and said they believed Sims was a patient there. They asked for a photograph of him to confirm their suspicions. ``He's alive, but he's not in the best of health,'' his mother, Anna Sims, told The Star-Ledger of Newark on Tuesday. ``When I saw him, he did not know me. He did not know his daughter. He did not know his brother.'' Anna Sims said her son has been diagnosed with amnesia and schizophrenia. She did not disclose the hospital where he is being treated. On an Associated Press list of 694 victims from New Jersey released last week, George Sims was listed as ``reported missing'' because there was no verification, other than a missing persons report filed by his family, that Sims was a World Trade Center victim. Family members said they believed Sims was ``selling things'' near the twin towers when the attacks occurred and, when they did not hear from him for a few weeks, they reported him missing to city police on Oct. 7. While no one knows exactly where Sims was the day of the attacks or how he ended up at the hospital, his family remains hopeful that he will eventually recover and tell them what happened. ``If God brought him this far back to me, he will come back the rest of the way. It will take time,'' Anna Sims said. ``I am just grateful he is alive. God worked a miracle.'' The family did not apply for any of the financial assistance provided to victims' survivors and did not obtain a death certificate, the newspaper said. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 14th, 2002
3:18 pm	Two actual paragraphs from the "Left Behind" books. From one of the earlier books: "Buck Williams sat in the bowels of Teddy Kolleck Stadium in Jerusalem with his pregnant wife, Chloe. He knew she was in no way healed enough from injuries she had suffered in the great earthquake to have justified the flight from the States, but she would not be disuaded. Now she appeared weary. Her bruises and scars were fading, but Chloe still had a severe limp, and her beauty had been turned into a strange cuteness by the unique reshaping of her cheekbone and eye socket." And here is the very first paragraph from the latest book - Volume NINE: "Rayford Steele had endured enough brushes with death to know that the cliché was more than true: Not only did your life flash before your mind’s eye, but your senses were also on high alert. As he knelt awkwardly on the unforgiving red rock of the city of Petra in ancient Edom, he was aware of everything, remembered everything, thought of everything and everybody." THESE BOOKS HAVE SOLD MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS OF COPIES! I don't so much mind the subject matter, as infantile as it is... IT'S THE ACTUAL WRITING! How can ANYBODY get through NINE volumes of this crap? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 12th, 2002
4:39 pm	My week has been made. Two hideous teenage white trash girls punching the HELL out of one another - ON THE ESCALATOR!!! I LOVE THIS MALL! (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 8th, 2002
9:53 am	Back when lyrics mattered. I pulled into the Cactus Tree Motel to shower off the dust And I slept on the strange pillows of my wanderlust I dreamed of 747s, over geometric farms Dreams, Amelia, dreams and false alarms (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 6th, 2002
12:10 pm	Prosciutto Pinwheels, Pig Heads, & the Horrifying "T" Word I think I have processed the weekend enough to write about it. 7:30 in the morning on Saturday I left the comfort of the CyberDen for Denton and the first phase of the Big Wedding Day. It's normally a 90 minute drive. Seemed OK coming out of DC through MD....then... TRAFFIK. It took over an hour JUST to get to the Bay Bridge tolls from the I-97 interchange. That's right, a 10 Mile Back Up. I thought the 10MBU was only a legend, a thing of the distant past. Like griffins and elves. But apparently every inbred mullet-head in Baltimore decided to go to the beach that morning too, instead of staying home to drink endless Pabst Blue Ribbons on the porches of their dilapidated, AC free row houses. Which is really where they all belong. I was able to index an entire 80 minute minidisc worth of music while doing the old stop'n'go tango (at one point, a beautifully decomposed deer laying shriveled and incongruous by the steel lane divider mesmerized me with its eyes - for a minute), but just by luck I know the side road escape route through Cape St Claire, or it would've been more like 2 hours in bumper2bumper. Suckers. Ah, the wedding. They pinned a white rose to the lapel of my new CHEAP ASS jacket, and it was lovely. Til I got a snotter full of POLLEN and started having an allergy attack right in the Church of God. Thanks again, GOD. By the way, GOD, your CHURCH is LAME. They didn't even have a practice session for the wedding, not even for Dad and Loretta, so nobody knew what the hell they were doing. During the lovely and inspiring candle ceremony, ("The two flames becoming one signifies the union of the husband and wife..." THANKS, I never would've figured out that sledgehammer symbolism on my own, Mr. Minister with the UGLIEST window-pane striped suit I have ever seen) my Dad picked his candle up by the stick, not the base, and the base slid off and crashed on the floor. Then in a sitcom moment, he forgot where he put the ring and had to fumble in all his pockets to find it. The "re-enactments" we had to do for the loopy camera woman after the ceremony finished redefined the term "tiresome mindfuck." The reception line was fun. I could tell which of the bumpkins could accept me and which ones thought I was a freak. My Aunt Adelaide was there. Ninety-one next week and sharp as a tack. Had to scream into her gigantic hearing aids to get through to her, but hey, it's a Shortall thing, the deafness, I'll be there one day. The reception at the house had alot more people, like 200 or so (most of the invitees wouldn't've been caught DEAD in the Church of God, but free food is free food, so they managed the reception) although some of the older guests practically expired in the heat. I stayed in the pool the whole time. One of my friends from high school was there, he's a state trooper in Salisbury now, although he's fat as a pig, so he's workin' that Police Chief Wiggum thang. He has three kids. Great dad, too. He's of the "Mock Your Children Every Chance You Get" school of fathering. Sigh. Speaking of pigs, the classy catering crew for the shin-dig (the lady who runs the show has the following sticker on her pick-up: "Bad Ass Chicks Have Bad Ass Trucks") cooked an ENTIRE PIG for the party. Whole. They cut its head off right there on the grill and it just sat there, the head, looking out into the party like it envied the fun were having. Matthew told me I had to be at the house in Rehoboth by 6:30 and I was more than happy to oblige. We went to a couple of parties, one lame and one good. The lame one was an ABBA party. Imagine! An ABBA party in 2002 that seems.... less than inspired!? I guess nowadays it takes more than writing the word ABBA on a piece of construction paper and slapping it on a wall in your backyard. Open bar, though, sponsored by Absolut. (Jeez, they'll sponsor anything. Whores). I had a Costanza moment when I ordered our two drinks. There was a tip jar. Two drinks = $2, right? But I didn't have any ones. Only a five. Three options came to mind: 1) Leave nothing and look CHEAP; 2) Put in the $5 and take out $3 - and look CHEAP; 3) Put in the $5, walk away, and let the bartender think that ONCE AGAIN he made out like a bandit simply because he was lucky enough to win the powerball drawing in the genetic lottery. Damn, it was sweltering, too. Shirts were taking themselves off! We ran into Matthew's new boyfriend on the way out. It's amazing how almost at the same moment everybody simply LEFT. No discussion. It was instinctive. Gays have the most amazing migratory patterns. His name is Ed and he's an options / futures trader in Philly. He's in his 40's, very nice looking and has a great sense of humor. We walked to the next party. This one was done RIGHT. The disposable income of older gay men. Truthfully, maybe horrifyingly, this is how I see myself spending my declining years. If I manage to actually save any money. Survive through the cold months, and between Memorial and Labor Days, rent a house at the beach and once a month throw a party like the one Saturday night at Silverlake. Live DJ. Good one, too, a woman from NY. Free booze. Honestly sexy bartenders. Ambient lantern light. A crowd. Hopefully a HOT New Zealand house boy to run it for me. (I promise to remember electronic mosquito repellers - I got bit on the hand so bad my knuckle swelled up to half the size of a golf ball. Might've been a spider). Hot crowd, but lemme tell ya. Gay men are gettin' GAYER. I've never seen anything like it. Crazy. It was like a massive "Impersonate Auntie Mame!" revue. There was a cute doggie that I got water for because it kept licking the side of the keg. Some Ralph Lauren look-a-like from Cleveland tried to get all in my business. DAMN, I wish I went for older guys. I'd be set. Matthew and I gorged ourselves on a plate of rolled mozzarella/prosciutto pinwheel things until we were SICK. We met Ed's housemate, this HOT Boston Irish-y boy with a body like Marky Mark and the face of an angel. I was inflamed to action. I began my sounding-out with Ed. "He's so hot... what is he, like 24?" "24!? He's 39." Imagine how stunned I was. "Wha?" I managed. "It's the Botox," Ed volunteered. JACKPOT! "Ex-alcoholic, too." But of course... I saw an ex there who used to be an annoying Body Shoppe clerk when we "dated", who is now an annoying ex-Body Shoppe clerk with a rich boyfriend who owns houses in both DC and Rehoboth. Ah, Life. We knew when to leave, so we went swimming in the ocean. The water was surprisingly cold, and totally black, so we couldn't see the waves almost until they hit us. It was so exhilarating. Ed got a ticket for parking on a residential street after midnight. Karma. Next morning I hightailed it back to NoVa to beat the "T" and it was a straight shot home. On 404, which is two lanes and people get killed on all the time on it, a minivan sped past me and the driver was a woman who looked like a young Linda Fishman and she was giving herself a facial massage. Um, get your hands back on the wheel, please. YOU'RE the reason we have to turn our headlights on in the broad daylight like it's Iceland or something. P.S. I chose option 3. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, August 2nd, 2002
11:00 am	"It is said an eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him with the words, 'And this, too, shall pass away.' How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!" - Abraham Lincoln (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 1st, 2002
12:42 pm	Box Office Poison. Before going into the party, she dropped her fur coat so she could drag it behind her on the floor and told her friend, "Let's show them how a legend makes an entrance." (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 30th, 2002
7:59 pm	Holy fucking CHRIST, it's been awhile... ... since I posted a real old-fashioned livejournal entry. It's been one of "those" three month stretches of time. My alcoholic weekend was a smashing success. Last Saturday morning, I stopped by the Rite Aid at Columbia Pike and Geo Mason Dr (motto: "The ONLY store in NoVA with never a line!") and bought a half gallon jug of Chablis for $5.23! it got me thru Sat afternoon, Sunday morning and all the way into Sunday evening, at which time I switched to vodka drinks for the balance of my stay at Filler. Which was great fun. Mommie looked fab, Daddy was a-spinnin 'n' a-buyin, and a certain someone we all know and love barely escaped being assaulted by yours truly. (Since I did not get laid this weekend, not for the lack of trying, and for the first time in quite a few weekends, it took major amounts of control to not make a spectacle of myself THAT WAY). As you may know, Frank and I have new carpet. I took the opportunity to repaint my room, buy a new comfy bed and wire my room for broadband. HIMMLICH! My Dad is getting remarried THIS SATURDAY. I'M THE BEST MAN! IN THE CHURCH WE HAD MY MOTHER'S FUNERAL IN LESS THAN 2 YEARS AGO! Then there's a big pool-based wedding party at the Denton House of Scandal! Matthew will be at the beach this weekend, so I'm going to ditch the wedding party early and drive from Denton to the shore. Perhaps I will pull a Joan Crawford in "Humoresque" and drown myself in the ocean while I'm there. However, I probably won't, since that would preclude me from becoming even more of a corporate schill, as I do believe I will be applying for a new job at E*TRADE, namely that of "Banking Website Quality Assurance Engineer" which does in fact pay MUCHO DINERO. Because, you know what people? It IS all about the benjamins. Now, class, if you'll turn your Maxim magazines to page 190, you will see an incredibly ugly/hot male model wearing a completely hideous biker-style jacket and simple looking shirt. See the blurb at the bottom of the page? "Leather jacket, $10,550 and knit shirt, $1,195, both by Giorgio Armani..." Perhaps this will be the costume in which I will drown myself. What becomes of one's credit card debt upon one's death? Now, if you will excuse me, I got some mutha fuckin "Love Boat" to watch. Holy mother of pearl - Mackenzie Phillips as a sex change patient on his/her 1st criuse after the operation... YEAH, BABY! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 25th, 2002
11:42 am	I painted my room over the weekend. All by myself. I looks like CRAP, but it's my own handiwork. And FRANK fixed the toilet! Whaaaa? We're getting downrite DOMESTIC. Must be the new carpet. It smells like what the future promised in 1962. I took the opportunity of all the ripped-upedness to lay some networking cable around the house - so now I have DSL in my room! I can listen to an SACD or watch a DVD while plying my wares on the web via notebook PC, and at the same time stream some webcasts onto minidiscs for listening to at work. I WILL HAVE the ultimate cyber den! I bought a new bed @ IKEA last night. Now I have to get a mattress. MmmmmMMmmmm sleepy time in a real bed instead of on a piece of foam from Jo-Ann Fabrics plopped on top of a mildewed futon. MmmmMmmmmmMmmmm. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 16th, 2002
2:30 pm	Sentience is an evolutionary dead-end. (Comment on this)
Monday, July 15th, 2002
10:55 pm	O2B a fly on THAT wall... from IMDB - Supermodel Naomi Campbell had to be separated from actress Bijou Phillips by Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs when the two starlets clashed at Paris fashion week. The American wildchild accused the British clotheshorse of trying to chat up Bijou's fiancé, Sean Lennon (!?!-jhs) while the actress was away in Europe filming Octane with Norman Reedus and Madeleine Stowe. Bijou reportedly "accidentally" slammed in the leggy Londoner at P. Diddy's fashion bash at Plaza Athenee last Tuesday. After Bijou jostled her, Naomi threatened the actress, shrieking, "I'm gonna knock you out, Bijou." An eyewitness says, "Bijou jumped up ready to fight but friends intervened before they had a chance to really go at it." Combs played go-between and helped the two to make peace after pulling them aside and having a talk. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 12th, 2002
2:56 pm	It's come to this. In the fall "Sesame Street" will be adding an HIV+ muppet to the show. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 9th, 2002
9:30 am	Trashball! It's a neat game! Everybody wins! Gonna show you how to play! Well you pick up some trash, Make it a ball, Throw in the can & now you're playin' Trashball! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 26th, 2002
1:46 pm	Invasion of the Well-Dressed Teens It's Junior U.N. day here at Ballston Commons. Hundreds of teens walking around the mall downstairs. In their little ties and dress shirts. All freshly scrubbed. I'm a hideous old praying mantis dropped into a box of sweet, sweet crickets. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 18th, 2002
1:53 pm	Mindblower Scientists Report 'Teleported' Data Mon Jun 17, 4:33 PM ET By PETER O'CONNOR, Associated Press Writer CANBERRA, Australia (AP) - Australian scientists said Monday they had successfully "teleported" a laser beam encoded with data, breaking it up and reconstructing an exact replica a yard away. Their work replicates an experiment at the California Institute of Technology in 1998, but the Australian team believes their technique is more reliable and consistent. Although the research brings to mind the way "Star Trek" characters were beamed around on TV and in film, scientists at the Australian National University said their technique's main use will be as a way to encrypt information and for a new generation of super-fast computers. At this stage, the process perfected by Australian physicist Ping Koy Lam and his 12-member team can only teleport light by destroying the light beam and creating an exact copy at the receiving end from light particles known as photons. "We have taken a beam of laser light ... and completely destroyed it and then made measurements of the destroyed laser beam and then took the measured results to the other side of the lab and reconstructed an exact replica of what we have destroyed," said Lam. Teleporting a laser beam involves destroying and replicating billions of photons. Lam said he believes the process, called "quantum teleportation" and which takes a nanosecond — one billionth of one second — will soon be used for teleporting matter. "My prediction is if we are not doing it, it will probably be done by someone in the next three to five years, that is the teleportation of a single atom or a small group of atoms," he said. Teleporting a living person would likely be virtually impossible, scientists said. "In theory, there is nothing stopping, us but the complexity of the problem is so huge no one is thinking seriously about it at the moment," Lam said. Quantum teleportation makes use of a strange aspect of quantum physics called the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, which says it is impossible to measure both the speed and position of an object at the same time. The researchers couldn't directly measure the key characteristics of the laser beam they wanted to replicate, so they turned to a process called entanglement. In entanglement, characteristics of tiny particles — like the photons that make up laser beams — can be mirrored in a second set of particles. So researchers can make their measurements on a second laser beam that was entangled with the first. The measurements are then sent by radio waves to the receiving station, which exactly replicates the first beam that was destroyed in the process of entanglement. Lam's team will be presenting the results to an international conference on quantum electronics in Moscow next week. (1 Comment |Comment on this)